07 October, 2013

Review: Her Mad Hatter (Kingdom Series #1) by Marie Hall


Goodreads Summary: Alice is all grown up. Running the Mad Hatter's Cupcakery and Tea Shoppe is a delicious job, until fate--and a fairy godmother with a weakness for bad boys--throws her a curveball. Now, Alice is the newest resident of Wonderland, where the Mad Hatter fuels her fantasies and thrills her body with his dark touch.
The Mad Hatter may have a voice and a body made for sex, but he takes no lovers. Ever. But a determined fairy godmother has forced Alice into Wonderland--and his arms. Now, as desire and madness converge, the Hatter must decide if he will fight the fairy godmother's mating--or fight for Alice.

I picked this book up as a free read from a bargain on Amazon... and I have to admit, I can see why it's free. 

The story-line itself isn't too terrible, provoking the idea of the Fairy Tale worlds we love as their own separate alternate dimension where every group of denizens there have a fairy godmother. Simple enough right? Not so much. Meet Danika, fairy godmother of the damned souls of this happy endings place. Her mission, over the next year, is to make sure that the five worst baddies of the land find their true love matches. I fail to see how the Wolf from Little Red Riding Hood, the Djinn from Aladdin, some unidentified fellow named Gerard, Captain Hook, and the Mad Hatter all classify as the worst of the worst, but okay. Danika, it seems, likes to meddle and it's not just their lives that end up getting messed up.

Meet Alice Hu, the great-granddaughter of the original Alice Hu who stole the Hatter's heart and broke him beyond repair. She's been obsessed with everything Wonderland and the Mad Hatter since she can remember, though the most pivotal point was when she was 13 and dying of brain cancer. It was then when she first met the Hatter and when she fell in love. Cheesy? Very much so. I'm afraid it doesn't get much better from there. A visit from Danika sends Alice down the rabbit hole and into the twisted landscape of Wonderland on a mission to save the world that's linked to Hatter and his twisted madness.

Three days, that's the magic number, is all Alice has to make Hatter fall in love with her. To be fair, it felt like every other paragraph when they were featured together was Alice and Hatter attempting to NOT jump each other's bones that very moment. In fact, perhaps a good three-forth of the book focuses on this lust-filled ideal of "look but don't touch" and "resist because it's just three days". The thing you don't learn until near the very end of the book is that Three Days in Wonderland equals out to being Three Months in the real world. How very jarring that is for Alice when she finally steps back out from the rabbit hole and finds herself taking a turn of the worse with a relapse of her cancer. 

All in all, this book was filled with awkward grammar, strange and silly metaphors. It was also filled with a disturbing amount of misquoted Edgar Allen Poe, something that seems a bit distance beyond the one fleeting riddle in the original Alice in Wonderland books about the raven and the writing desk. 

My suggestion for this book is if you have to pay for it, it's definitely not worth the money. However if cheesy romance books are your thing, by all means go enjoy. You won't get any erotica until the last three or four chapters of the book anyways.

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